joash lee at 9:53 PM

Monday, May 9, 2005

DAY 1
I went to Changi airport. Flight was at 4.20pm. Group set out in different cliques. Arrived at Brunei at 6.45pm. Went to the sea games center (games village) and met Brunei friends who were joining us. Quite friendly. Fire drill at 12.30am. Camp chief told us that we have to be prepared in any circumstances. I learnt that life is be full of ups and downs, so we must be prepared in any circumstances for any change to happen.

DAY 2
Woke up at 5.30 because I could not sleep and that we had to go for flag raising. After flag raising, did some stretching, and went for breakfast. It was not bad. The food there was quite nice. After that took a bus to boat jetty to wait for boat to go to Temburong. While waiting we learnt some Malay. Went to Temburong and found out that the place was dirty and a far cry to the comfort of my own home. After that, flood drill. Then the two different country groups had two different meetings.This course has helped me a great deal in my walk with God because he has taught me to rely on him for strength and courage when I was so scared of the cicadas. But after reading Psalms 34 and Psalms 91 , we were all greatly encouraged and were not scared anymore. My group was great, because they went through this obstacle with me. Thank God for Melissa, Carmelle, Terrence, James and Hong Wei.

Day 3
Woke up early in the morning for flag-raising. After that did some stretching and went to Bukit Patoi for abseiling. Climbed up about 2.2km up Bukit Patoi. Abseiled down for about 30 meters. It was super fun. After that came down for lunch. Had no appetite because I was too tired. Went back to base camp. Learnt some orienteering skills, got some trangia for cooking in the jungle. It is like a portable stove. After that learnt how to pitch a tent and how to float down a river. Instructor did not give clear instructions and when we went down a second time, we got punished. Then he started giving us a lecture on not obeying instructions. Found out that two guys were expelled because they did not obey instructions. I feel that God put me in this because he wants me to grow closer to him. Melissa and I were talking about our spiritual lives and I felt God’s presence surrounding Temburong. For example, I am terrified of bugs. But God has put me through many encounters with the cicadas. God is so real in my life. It is really a stepping-stone in my spiritual life. God spoke to me in the bus today to tell me to tell Melissa to think of Him all the time and truly, Melissa was shocked that I told her that because thinking the same thing too. Praise God! God spoke to me again when I was writing this. He gave me the analogy of Moses and the Israelites. Moses wanted to get the Israelites out of Pharaoh’s grip. So we are like the Israelites and Moses is like God. God wants us to persevere all the way so that we can enter the ‘promise land’, which in this case, is the ‘5-star hotel’. Carmelle is very scared of the cicadas and a guy named Arafin was insensitive and caught the cicada and threw it around. Fairsians from our group surrounded her to protect her. After prayer, the cicadas stopped buzzing around. God is so real in our lives! Now I feel a sense of unity among the Fairsians as we all support each other physically and spiritually. I feel that although I am so spiritual now, I always tend to drift from God after a while. For the past few days I survived on 5 hours of sleep, not because I am strong, but because God is the source of my strength. This shows that we should only rely on God and no other. Followed Melissa across the bridge to her bunk alone. All the other guys did not want to follow her. I went with her there and alone back. It was a real test of my faith in God to protect me, and he did!

DAY 4
Today went to the jungle to start our trekking. While we were on the boat, it kept rocking and shaking that I was so scared it was going to capsize. And that all my stuff would get wet. But God put 2 songs in my heart. ‘God of Wonders’ and ‘Every Move I Make’. He reminded me that He was the God of all creation and will protect me. The chorus of ‘every move I make’ is “waves of mercy, waves of grace, everywhere I look I see your face. Your love has captured me. Oh my God this love how can it be?” It is really comforting. Broke down in the jungle when I could not take it anymore. I was totally relying on God’s strength because I did not eat much the whole day. ‘My source of strength, my source of hope, is Christ alone.’ Today was the worse day because we are in the middle of a jungle, sleeping in tents, raining and we are all dehydrated due to lack of water. I wonder how am I going to survive. Slept at 8pm. Shoulders were aching because I had to carry a very heavy backpack and a four-man tent. Cannot write much as I am in the jungle.

DAY 5
Woke up at 6am. Set off. Reached the water source and refreshed myself. Walked about 5 hours today before reaching base camp. Thank God. I have learnt a very important lesson from jungle trekking. That you must never give up because the reward is waiting for you at the end of the race. Route was worse. It was steeper and more slippery because it rained the night before. Before reaching the water source I experienced a miracle. I was dehydrated and wanted to finish the ¼ amount of water I have left. I drank a lot and a lot but it stayed at ¼! Praise God! I feel that I am drifting more and more away from God. Yesterday I was literally crying out to God. It is the 1st time I felt this way. There was a real hunger for God. Ate a lot of food today. The most I have eaten in 5 days. Jungle trekking is really mentally tiring. It is not that physically tiring. But I fell like 5 times on my butt. Went kayaking downstream for about 3km after reaching base camp. Once again, my buddy is Khairul. He is a great guy. Got cut by a thorn today on my index finger. He was kind enough to help me put a plaster on it. Packed all my stuff back into my luggage for ½ hour. Raffi says that only when the stock is full will he give the certificate to us. Really tired both physically and mentally right now. The fire ants in the jungle are as big as the cockroaches in Singapore. It stung twice on the side of my stomach. Had heat rash and some other insect bite on my back. Really painful. Time really passes very slowly. Put a lot of prickly heat powder on my back. I am really tired right now. Wanted to give up halfway during the trek, but a verse from the Bible spurred me on. I really am thirsting for God. After dinner, all the Singaporeans went over to the other table to chitchat. I did not join them. Because I believe that when you are really down and out and you are too lonely to feel anything, you will turn to God. I never thought that I would talk to Melissa about my spiritual life. Now I realize how important it is to have a spiritual partner because you have to help him/her through their spiritual walk and vice-versa. We are going back to the ‘5-star hotel’ tomorrow. Then we will appreciate what we have. I shared most of my spiritual life with Melissa. She also shared hers with mine. I did not think that this camp would be my spiritual milestone. I thought that it would just be a physical and mental milestone. I was really amazed (and is still amazed) at what God is doing in my life. I hope and pray that my hunger and thirst for God will not die after I leave OBBD. I just realized how important it is to memorize verses because when you do not have a Bible, and when you thirst for the Word of God, you have to rely on your memory verse. Sometimes I feel really lonely when I am alone. I feel like breaking down. I am tired and lonely. Where is God? Draw me close to you. All the Singaporeans have different cliques altogether. I really want to talk to someone. I just want to pour out all my feelings on someone. I feel that Melissa is the best person to talk to, the rest are not sensitive to this type of stuff. She is really a great friend. She hears all my troubles and supports me. Talked to Melissa about life’s problems. She shared with me her problems too. She is like the 1st person I have ever shared so much stuff to. I really want to thank God for putting Melissa in this group. I really miss my church friends and family. Cannot wait to go back to sea games center. This camp really taught me how to appreciate stuff.

DAY 6
Went to jog 3km in the morning. Slept on wooden platform with a life jacket. While we were walking across the bridge, there were 3 times more moths and cicadas than before. I was very scared, but ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’. I made it. Ate breakfast and set out to ‘5-star hotel’. Very happy when we came back. Shared reflections with own group. Some people did not want to share so lunch was delayed. After lunch went to eco-learning. Heat rash got so, so painful that I cried. After dinner, Raffi gave out all our confiscated foodstuff. Then came up with a performance for the graduation ceremony. Played the guitar. They are really pro. I am really amazed by Melissa’s determination. She was leading everyone in the songs, but nobody wanted to listen. She did not give up but persevered. That is worth my admiration. After that borrowed a guitar to have a mini chapel with Amelia, Melissa, Carmelle, Khairul and Jamebry. Turned out that Jamebry was a freethinker. He goes to church on Sundays. Although it was a mini chapel, we were all really worshipping God. Talked to Khairul 1-to-1. He’s really great!

DAY 7
How time flies. It is already day 7. Went for a 3km jog in the morning. After that went to visit museums. But I had a fun time talking to Khairul throughout the whole day. Then went to a center especially for autistic children. Did some community work. It was quite fun, although tiring. Laughed like nobody’s business on the bus. All the dumb and lame jokes. Even Raffi laughed. Borrowed a guitar and worshipped God alone. Dinner was good. After dinner, real reflections started. We went one round saying our strengths and weaknesses. I did not know my weakness was the difficulty to forgive. After that instructor bought ice cream for the whole group. Vanilla and yam flavor. Everybody was laughing like mad people because Khairul was miming some funny actions. My best buddies in this camp-Melissa and Khairul! They both rock my world!

DAY 8
Did the 7km run. Finished 6th position with a timing of 33:51 minutes. After that was the graduation ceremony. Got my certificate. After that went to the mall to shop. Bought a pouch. Then off to the theme park. Had no money left so Khairul paid for me $1 to get in. He is really very kind. Amelia was really a great friend to lend me her ticket when she was not playing so I could get a chance to play. All the Singaporeans went in different cliques. Again, I was left alone with Khairul. Raced each other at go-karts for 30 minutes. Got the pass from Kenneth as they went to eat. God spoke to me again. He warned me not to be so materialistic, but trust in Him because he is Jehovah-Jireh. When it was time to go back to base camp, Singaporeans took one bus and Bruneians took another bus. I sat with the Bruneians. I saw a Singaporean got off the Bruneian bus when he saw that all his friends were in the other bus. I was really angry.

DAY 9
Had to pay for the lock because half the key was chipped in the door. $100. Hong Wei and Khairul were supposed to pay $50 each because they were the only two people involved in it. Khairul had only $20 so we lent him. Before we left the sea games center, people started to cry. I cried on the bus, even before reaching the airport. I was really sad to leave because they were so nice people. My impression of the Bruneians changed for the better over the days. We bonded more during the jungle trekking. At the airport, everyone cried. Everyone was hugging each other, and we took a lot of pictures. Raffi asked us to sing the song we sang at the graduation ceremony. The song made us all cry. It was really touching. Wanted to hold back my tears but it just came pouring down. A lot of crying and hugging. Cried like nobody’s business. Could not bring myself to think that we were going to leave each other. And a few days ago we all wanted to go home so badly. I will treasure this friendship and will remember my group ‘Pateh Berbai’ forever. Take it hard! -That was our motto.

Verses that God put in my heart to encourage me
Psalms 23:4, Psalms 34, Philippians 3:13-14, Luke 12:4-5, James 1:2-4
Songs that God put in my heart to encourage me
God of Wonders
Every move I make
Hungry