Why do we love?

joash lee at 8:03 PM

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

So, the girls lost today. It was a damn close fight i tell you. I was so happy when they won the first set, but subsequently they lost the next two, which brings them out of the competition. DAMN IT. This is for you volleyball girls. I want you girls to know that this was the best match you all have played, and I'm really really proud of you all. All the trainings and effort put in to train you all was not wasted. Today you all did what we(me sim coach and jason) taught you, but height wasn't on our side. Whatever the case, I really am happy that you all performed to your best, but sometimes people lose too. So cheer up, alright? Don't worry too much about it. ((:

After the matches, the draw began and damn, our grouping's the bad one out of the two.

Group A - NYJC, TJC, SAJC, TPJC

Group B - AJC, HCI, VJC, PJC

F.Y.I. NY was last year's champion, AJ was 2nd, TJ was 3rd, HC was 4th, and VJ was 5th. We were not even in top 8. LOL. But still, coach has very high hopes in us. We are like the underdog team. Waay underdog. The Black Horse. Whatever you wanna call it. We are gonna go to the finals i tell you. GO PJ!

First match against HCI, this Friday, CCAB, 345pm. C'mon down and support us people! We need it. Thanks!!!

joash lee at 9:46 PM

Monday, April 28, 2008

Today was a horrible horrible day. For both GP and Lit, half the class was standing outside. For GP, it was because they were all late. Apparently, all the boys (7 of us) were right on time. Amazing irony huh. Lit was much worse. The whole class was standing outside, all except for me. I was pretty much quite afraid, cos he was really angry, but okay lah, learnt alot of things. It was like tuition. 1-to-1 tutorial. Hah. Thank God I did my research.

Anyway, gym for PE after that, and played ball with Erin, Ernest and Joanna. Quite tired now. But no choice. Last week I've been skipping so many lessons because of volleyball that I'm waaay behing schedule for Math and everything else. Die TTM.

Anyway, the netball girls came back today with great disappointment. Could see it in their faces. Netball girls, this is for you. You all have been training hard since God knows when. And I've seen the way you all played in KL, quite amazing stuff, and I'm sure with more trainings and at home ground, you girls are alot better now. So cheer up, don't worry too much about today's game. Put it behind, learn from it, and thrash NJ on wednesday. I admire your team spirit, your perseverance, attitude and mentality for the game. Go girls. You all can do PJ proud. (:

joash lee at 7:22 PM

Sunday, April 27, 2008

Went to bb macs to study today. Unfortunately, the one beside West Mall is under renovation, DAMN. Met Pei En there, she too was pissed at the noisyness of the place. It's size reduced by half. So it's darn small now. So I asked her where else to mug, she brought me to the other bb macs. In the centre of the heartland. GeHui was there, so i studied with the both of 'em.

Sorry about the other day. Terribly bad mood at that time. So many problems. But now i'm hiding it in the corner of my mind, it's much better. Trained for 6 hours yesterday, damn freaking tired now. Finished a fair bit amount of work, not too bad.

Talked to Pei En quite a bit today. I'm amazed at what she's doing in church. And the things she sacrificed to reach out to the community. I'm impressed, and I'm ashamed of myself. What am I doing? What have I been doing? Nothing. DAMN. I've gotta start somewhere. Lord, tell me where. Keep my flame burning God.

joash lee at 7:41 PM

Friday, April 25, 2008

I'm terribly upset and disappointed now. Just shoot me will ya.

And no, I'm not going to be emo here. I'll just hide in my sorrows.

Screwed up. I'm effed.

[/edit]
Work is piling up yet again. Many many assignments due next week, and tests that are upcoming. So what if we have it all? It would just all go to waste. Nothing in life is real. Everything is fake. No matter how hard you try it to be. Everybody is fake. We are all dust. Nothing's real. I hate everything. Screw it all.

joash lee at 9:36 PM

Thursday, April 24, 2008

We lost. 25-22, 25-22. Tough luck. It was a very close fight. At least the rest of the opponents now know our strength as a team. We are not to be under-estimated. Last year, 1st round knockout, top 16. This year, we want the finals. Today's atmosphere was like the finals man. Awesome. I am very pleased with today's performance. C'mon team. Play like this every game, and we'll win for sure.

It was actually quite funny today. There were 2 ongoing games. And our court was filled with spectators and supporters. I was told that the other match, nobody was watching. HAHAH. Poor things. Anyway, just want to give a shoutout to all the people who came to support us today. THANK YOU ALL. The atmosphere was awesome. Just awesome. The cheering, the whacking of the floor, the screaming. THANK YOU!

I lost my whole set of uniform. Think i left it in the toilet. DAMN. :/

[/edit]
I just really want to thank God for the things he has granted us. Although more than half the team aren't believers. Okay more than half. It's just me and Sim and some other girls. I want to thank God because I asked him for a victory, and this was already a victory, if we see this optimistically. We played extremely well. Thank you Jesus. Glory To God. Amen.

joash lee at 10:14 PM

Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Guys, tomorrow is the match of the year already. Let's give it our all. Today we trained till 8 plus for this. Everything we ever had, we'll throw it down into the game. Okay? We have nothing to lose, they have everything. So give it your all and don't ever give up, or have the mentality. We are a team. We'll do this together. See you all tmr, sleep early and have a good night's rest. We need the energy tomorrow. And all the focus. Let's not disappoint our friends. (:

NO FEAR, BECAUSE GOD IS ON OUR SIDE.

joash lee at 9:49 PM

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

We have a dream. That is to reach the highest of the highest. To get into the finals of the A division tournament, and go to Toa Payoh Indoor Stadium to play. And that will be decided by this thursday.

Anyway, we played 2 games already. Although we won both, we played really badly. Partly my fault. I was a terrible setter. Really really bad. Sorry guys for pulling you all down. Okay emo stuff aside. Today we went to watch the girls match and I was very happy cos they did what i told them to do. And they won! Really really happy. They all played well, with a few occasional mistakes here and there.

So far the work pile is not too bad. But it's gonna increase much much more, and at a faster rate. dee-why-dee-axe equals to infinity. Haha. I'm doing differentiation so much, it's brainwashing me! Darn. The life's been good so far, just too busy to blog about things. So it's short and simple.

So what's going on now, is looking forward to playing against NY this thursday, because we're gonna have quite alot of supporters going down to watch. Mustn't disappoint them. We can and will do it. Go guys.

Another thing is, I'm trying to keep my white converse sneakers white. Damn it all you people who "acciddentally" step on my shoes. Go and die please. Today Jiali stepped on it, and I slapped her, and punched and kicked her. Just kidding. But that's what's gonna happen to you if you dare "accidentally" step on my oh-so-pearly-white shoes. I will manhandle you personally.

See you, punks.

joash lee at 10:59 PM

Saturday, April 19, 2008

So guess what? Went to school today for the Higher Education Day. I enjoyed myself thoroughly in the SMU talk because the guy was entertaining, and he got his message across too. The NUS talk was waaay boring, I read my book. I'm reading Angels and Demons by Dan Brown again, cos it's super nice, and it's been so long since i read it. Anyway, studied in school while waiting for Sim and Bok, and after that headed out to Plaza Singapura to catch The Forbidden Kingdom. It's super corny, but damn bloody humorous. I laughed my ass off.

Really, Jackie Chan's character was soo lame. Here's an example.

The Monk of Monks: We must find the elixir quickly in order to save his(Jackie Chan) life. I will send the walking monk to find it now.
Jackie Chan: Don't you have a running monk?
*LMAO

Okay anyway, I just came online, and some of my classmates added me into this highly childish conversation. C'mon girls. Stop quarreling already. It's no big deal really. JC's all about bitching in the face, and let's face it. We're gonna be a class for 2 years. So must as well bitch in the face and accept everyone for who they are then to bitch behind their backs and put up with false pretenses. RIGHT? So you know who you girls are, just stop bitching around and grow up. This issue you're quarreling over is honestly no big deal. Nothing important at all. So stop it.

Anyway. I bought my white converse sneakers. (((:

joash lee at 11:39 PM

Friday, April 18, 2008

The stress and the work is piling up like nobody's business. I'm really feeling the stress, and I'm damn frustrated, I keep getting angry for no reason. All the crazy projects(especially lit), and now trainings have intensified because of the competitions.

Well, I just want to give credit to a few groups of people who're distinct in my life, and just for the record, I'm having a ball of a time in Pioneer JC.

1. Pioneer Volleyball

You guys rock. Seriously. The only time I get my mind off work is when I'm in the hall playing volleyball and acting like some crazy ridiculous guy screaming and shouting my ass off. Honestly, I'm the joker in my team. Because the workload in class is piling up like mad, the only stress relief I have is volleyball. Guys team, we are seriously rocking kick ass man. Because you all are so tall, and we are super bonded, I feel very very united with you guys. We just need a lil' more shouting in court, morale booster yeah?

Girls team, we really want you all to play well. That's why we get so annoyed everytime you all don't play well. We really really want you all to win. So press on. And seriously? You guys are one big joke. All you jokers make us laugh like hell. So thanks for the laughter and everything that comes along with it. (:

2. 07A06

I don't really see you guys that often, but everytime I see you all, I feel so very happy, you guys may not know it. Because you all are another crazy bunch I went to class with for one whole year. You guys make me feel happy. (:

3. 08A03

A new class, a new adventure, you guys are a rockin' bunch of people. But i feel you all need to chill man. Everyone so emo, everyone angry at the same time. Lol. We'll pull this year through okay? With no retainees. And no distractions in class please. I really really want to listen. (:

Anyway, we played against RJC today, and we won. (:
1st set 25-10
2nd set 25-11
Not too bad a score. Okay i'm seriously getting very tired. My parents are in KL and i'm stuck here with my brother. So ciao, off already.

joash lee at 10:52 PM

Thursday, April 17, 2008

The Calming Sea

The sunshine's bright
My soul has died
We then shall see
What's left of me
Going far far away
To the docks and the bays
Maybe swim across the seas
Underneath the pure, white geese
Away from the motions
And the crazy competitions
To see who will thrive in academics
Or maybe, who'll get the best chicks
And life as usual,
unto us they'll fail
Bad stuff happens to good guys
The bad guys, they always get nice
Let us face the unfair life
And into the sea, we shall dive
Away our sorrows forever more,
Until we find another shore.

Joash Lee (b.1990)

joash lee at 9:16 PM

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Bloody hell postponed our match to Friday. Oh well, guess i'll have to keep the hype in for one more day. See ya pals. Gonna go all out on Friday to beat RJ. Cheer for us if you can. Later!

joash lee at 9:39 PM

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Oh. I forgot to blog about something that made me... well, disappointed. Or mad, I really don't give a damn anymore. It was PW results that day, and boy, I was so not looking forward to it because I knew the sucky grades that I'd get. PW last year was effing hell. I dreaded the effing group meetings(if there were even any to begin with), and most of all, I dreaded doing effing everything myself. And what did I get in return? 2 of my PW mates left for poly. F/#@!

So, here are the results.

1st group member, D. (poly)
2nd gm, C. (poly)
3rd gm, C.

Joash Lee (retainee), sucker of all times who freaking did ALL the work and slogged my ass off just to keep 'em from trouble and sacrificed much of my study time for the bloody reports and the other shit that we had to do, got a fucking D.

Anyway thanks to the 07A06-ers who were concerned about how i would take it. I'm fine thanks. It's really bullshit, cos you guys know how much i did. Oh well, examiners must really be blind. Nothing much to say anymore.

joash lee at 9:47 PM

So woke up damn freaking early today to do my e-learning. Finished it in about one and a half hours. Not too bad. Then I met Bok and Sim and we went to swim. (hey it rhymes!) And we swam for like an hour plus, many many laps. So damn tired i tell you. Could barely walk after that. Okay I'm exaggerating. But guess what? I've got a tanline on my thighs. If you wanna see it, come find me. ;) Just kidding. I'm not that gay can.

Well, proper swimming after like, 10 years, feels good again. The way you hold your breathe underwater, the way your body floats, the way you feel the hot sun and the coolness of the water, mashed into one feeling against your skin. Damn. I think swimming was the first official sport I've ever gotten into, and that was probably the start of my "sporting career". If I remember correctly, I think the highest grade i've gotten was a Gold. Didn't make it to Gold-star. But still. I can swim. Hahaha.

Tomorrow will be the start of everything. Training at 5pm, till late. And we have our very first match on Thursday, against RJC. DAMN I'M EXCITED. Till then, it's healthy living. No fried stuff, no chilli blah blah blah, and no soft drinks. Just to maintain the stamina and keep the fats low.

PJ Volleyball is gonna own your asses man. Watch out.

[/edit]

Well, thinking about stuff. Like religion, christianity. I've seemed to lose all my christian friends. Friends who used to encourage me. Friends who used to tell me to press on and not be influenced by the world. I used to have people telling me not to give up living for Jesus. Caring for me and asking how I was doing in school and stuff. Now? On the contrary, the perfect irony, it's the non-christians that are waay more concerned for me. Where are my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ? Am I just living a life that's not worthy of the calling anymore? Am I going to be cut off from the spiritual world? And bloody hell, it's not helping that we're studying Boey Kim Cheng's Another Place, cos he's just a poet who keeps slamming Christianity, and sometimes he makes some sense too. Because he's stating all the questions that I'm asking now. About life, about everything. Where does this lead to? So many questions, so little answers. I'm taking it one step at a time. Goodbye for now.

joash lee at 7:00 PM

Monday, April 14, 2008

Lissa Me

Me Kimberly

Birthday Boy Joshua Lim and Me

Hosea, Val, Me, Aaron

Me and Yunxing!

Me and Natalina

Jacq and Joshua's Pinata

Me and Evan

Val, Jiayi behind, Me, David and Hosea

Evan Me Lissa

Joshua's b'day cake

Jacq's b'day cake

Valerie And Me.

Valerie(crazy woman), Me and Jacq

Valerie, Me and Evan.

Hosea, Me Valerie

Me Valerie

Night life

Ticket for Planetshakers and Tim Hughes

joash lee at 7:29 PM

Sunday, April 13, 2008

I am super duper ultra mega extra TTM tired. Came home after 12am for the past 2 days. And waking up before 8 both days. Really really shagged out TTM man. Can somebody just shoot me. So we celebrated Jacq and Joshua's birthday on Saturday at East Coast Chalet. Was supposed to go for LingXin's party at Jiali's house but training freaking ended at 3. From 8am. Crazy man i tell you. I was so damn tired i just went home and rotted my ass off.

Today studied for about 4 hours straight with Ernest. Quite productive. But still have s'more to do. Anyway i'm gonna sleep now, and watch the Man Utd vs Arsenal game later on at 11pm. Later, dudes. Pictures up soon!

joash lee at 7:52 PM

Thursday, April 10, 2008

My dearest Lingxin. Here's wishing you a HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY. Thanks for all the times we had last year, it was craazy as hell man. I really enjoyed your long-lasting screams, your complains about art, and all that came along with you. Really. We talk occasionally online, and haha, it's quite funny cos we gossip alot. I always feel comfortable when I talk to you, both online and in school. (Most of the time in the canteen, when we're having our really long breaks. HAHAH) And yes, you can come over my house anytime to play DOA or Winning Eleven. Really, thanks for all the craziness we have in school, and I sincerely honestly enjoyed all the times we spent together. (: Happy Birthday Lingxin. Love you.

joash lee at 11:31 PM

Watching American Idol - Idol Gives Back now. It's a Charity show where all the stars of Hollywood come together to perform and request the whole of America to donate to save lives. And believe me on this one, it's really touching.

It makes me wonder what I'm complaining about. I have food to eat, I'm in the pink of health, and I've education. Most importantly, I have family and friends that love and care for me. What more do I want? We always want something more, don't we? Give you an inch and you request for a yard. Human nature.

Today I flared up. Everyone was shocked. I don't know what got into me. And I apologise. Sorry people. I'm a changed man. Really. I'm not who I am anymore. WHY? I don't know.

Someone save me.

joash lee at 10:09 PM

Wednesday, April 9, 2008

If only she knew...

joash lee at 9:39 PM

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Once again, i'm kinda happy today cos i've gotten back a few minor tests. 14/18 for Econs mock test, and 15/20 for GP QTK test. I just want to pat myself on the back and give myself some rest for the hard work done. But no, this is not even major test. Tmr will be the real Econs test, thurs GP essay test, and Fri - BIO "KILLER" TEST.

Random mood swings, Shazwan was telling us why he so emo the past few days, and i found out it was freaking related to me. Not because i made him emo, but some r/s prob, which was linked to my previous r/s. DAMN IT. He had to bring it up. The more i think about it, the more i want to kill myself.

I'm happy today cos i met up with Yunxing for dinner. And we talked ALOT. as in really alot. So much so that we had to talk about _____ again, and I got frustrated at _____ yet again. just pissed me off. but we talked about enjoyable things too. Like volleyball. Hah.

Talking about vball. Tmr's against IJC. Hope we'll thrash them flat.
Get well soon Sylvia.

TESTS, TESTS and TESTS.

ACK.

joash lee at 11:14 PM

Monday, April 7, 2008

I'm feeling alot of different things today. But I shan't say it here. Only the good ones though. Very happy cos I've got 8/10 for my first math test, and there's one careless mistake, so should have been 9/10. DAMN. Don't care. Still very good. Haha. This week's test week, so i'm determined to do well for all my subjects. Nothing much to add. Just the crazy adrenaline rush everytime i think of playing against NY. Really hope we will win. And hope we have supporters. Anyway nothing much to blog about, except a get well soon wish to Sylvia, who fractured her leg on Sat playing against CJ. Get well soon! I have tons of photos, but i'm too lazy to upload them now. Gonna study for my upcoming tests. Later, dogs.

joash lee at 10:13 PM

Sunday, April 6, 2008

THIS IS AN URGENT ANNOUNCEMENT.

A REQUEST FROM ME AND MY TEAM, SPECIALLY TO ALL FELLOW PIONEERS.
WE HAVE AN IMPORTANT MATCH AGAINST LAST YEARS CHAMPIONS NYJC.
WOULD APPRECIATE IT GREATLY IF YOU ALL COULD COME DOWN AND SUPPORT US.
THIS IS THE DECIDING MATCH BECAUSE IF WE WIN THIS, OUR CHANCES OF GOING TOP 4 WILL INCREASE TREMENDOUSLY.
DETAILS UP SOON.

VENUE: CCAB
DATE: 24th APRIL
TIME: TO BE CONFIRMED
MODE OF TRANSPORT: PROBABLY CHARTERED BUS FROM SCHOOL

joash lee at 7:37 PM

Saturday, April 5, 2008

Damn. I'm stuck to the routine. So i think i'll be blogging. Cos i'm too lazy to handwrite my thoughts and feelings onto pen and paper, so this should suffice. I feel so damn tired now, don't even feel like playing for service tomorrow. Although I know I have to lah, or else i'm screwed. I just want to play volleyball, listen my music, hang out with the guys, fall in love with her, and get married and live happily ever after. Whoa, life sounds so simple all of a sudden. Bitch. But it's never the case, often the opposite. Ah screw it. I'm starting to feel enclosed up in my own little world again, where no one will understand what i feel. So guess what? I'm going to retreat to my own thoughts and leave all of you wandering outside. Later sluts.

Random thought: Suasage Mcgriddles with Egg is DAMN FREAKING AWESOME.

joash lee at 10:14 PM

Once again, a milestone in this blog's history. This is officially the 300th post. Damn. I really feel like closing down this blog for the time being. I'm so sick and tired of blogging and blogging, and making myself feel worse. Although the pictures kinda reflect what i've been doing, I seriously don't know why i blog. To get people's attention? To make myself famous? To make people like me? I don't know. At 300 posts, it's hard to say. Let people know more about my life? Maybe. Why? I don't know that either. So, 300 and counting. If I never blog again, it's because i can't find a good enough reason to. But if i do continue, it's because i'm stuck to the routine of things, and find it hard to not blog.

joash lee at 10:05 PM

Friday, April 4, 2008

Today was not too bad. Went to school and rushed out all my bloody tutorials. Shagged by the end of 1230 i tell you. But okay lah, after that was chill to the max. Went to SUBWAY with the guys as usual, waited for Sim for nearly an hour damn it. Then headed to Queensway to collect our beloved winning jerseys. Hahahaha. Okay lah, we're confident that we can win. But still, must be humble. But seriously, the jerseys are FREAKING AWESOME! After we collected 'em, the aunty told us that the girl's jerseys were ready too, so we took both home, and they're at my house now, the jerseys. Because the guys came over to play WinningEleven10, the best game on Earth. So i'll be bringing them to training tmr, FRIENDLY AGAINST CJC. It'll be a real friendly game, cos most of us guys have friends there.

Okay, I don't know what to blog about already. I really want to mention some stuff here, but too many people read this blog. So i'm keeping a private journal. Where no one else can read, but God. Trying real hard to live the life man, but it's so tough.

Jesus, take the wheel.

joash lee at 9:05 PM

Thursday, April 3, 2008

An incident happened today that reminded me of another incident that happened on tues. On tues, I was taking 975 to CCK and was sitting with a friend. When the bus reached its destination, a malay couple beside us got up first and headed to alight from the bus. And something on the seat caught my eye. It was a handphone pouch with a handphone inside it(duh!). I quickly took it and returned it to the couple. It belonged to the malay guy. The malay woman thanked me profusely, while her husband seemed nonchalant about the whole matter, and sad to say not even a word of thanks from him. Damn man.

Never mind. Today was at KAP MacDonalds for tuition with Julia, and well, there were a bunch of NJ students sitting opposite us. When they left, I noticed a Guess purse on one of the trays. Once again, I quickly took it, ran down the stairs and returned it to the girl. She said thanks and they all walked off as if it was nothing. I was thinking, wow, great appreciation. Of course i didn't do it for the reward or whatever. It was just a natural instinct. Take it and return it. But shouldn't people have more appreciation for these kinds of acts? It would feel nice to be appreciated once in a while. Maybe they are too oblivious, maybe they're too caught up in their minute world of friends and self. I don't know. Maybe.

Tmr heading to queensway with the guys. Collecting our jerseys. Can't wait.

joash lee at 11:20 PM

Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Spencer, Shazwan and I have made a bet with Mrs Fadzleen. That is to be "docile" (as she puts it) in class for 1 whole week. If we are able to maintain our docile-ness in class then we get a treat from her outside of school. All of this started cos she kept saying in CT that we're too noisy in class and are "too domineering, so much so that the quieter girls behind never get a chance to speak up." So damn it, Spencer and I just decided to "emo" our way, and kept quiet for the whole CT, writing our reflections in a most serene manner. I was controlling myself from laughing out loud. But okay, 1 day down, 6 more to go. Can't wait for my treat. So whoever ka-jiao me in class will get it from me outside school. There's no way I'm going to treat her to lunch.

Anyway, Man Utd won Roma 2-0. I woke up at 230am to watch the match. Damn i'm a loyal fan. Maybe i'll watch the liverpool one later on too. It'll be interesting to see who gets the win. Obviously i'm on liverpool's side on this, go TORRES!

Sometimes God brings us around a merry-go-round just to reach the destination that we could have just taken a simple shortcut. And we blame/question God for putting so many obstacles through that phase which could have been so simple. But someone once told me this,

"It's not the outcome but the process that matters the most."

So wherever you are in your spiritual walk, take heart, for God has a plan for you, that is to prosper you to have a good future. Don't doubt me because I said it, but instead, trust God because He promised it. Press on. (:

joash lee at 9:19 PM

Tuesday, April 1, 2008

Nothing I say or do will change anything.
So why say anything?

Goodbye to you.

joash lee at 5:19 PM