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PJC
20/12/90
the_ashkid@hotmail.com
joash_lee@pacific.net.sg
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Monday, October 31, 2005
God will make a way, when there seems to be no way. He works in ways we cannot see, He will make a way for me. He will be my guide, hold me closely to His side. With love and strength for each new day, He will make a way, He will make a way.
As Don Moen said, it's a declaration of faith. If you believe, then you will receive. In times when there seems to be no way out, just look to Him. He will definitely make a way, after all, He's God. When He closes a door, he will open another for you. i've personally experienced that. and it's so amazing how you didnt seem to realise that a particular thing that's been there for so long, yet you took little notice of it, could be the way out for you when there seems to be no way. it's a wonderful thing, God working in ways we cannot see. I guess its because we're too caught up with ourselves and whatever we have to do, that we tend to give things a miss, as in not take notice of it. do not be selfish, do not stick to your own self-centred world. start to observe things around you. i saw someone wearing an ACJC t-shirt on my way to tuition today. I found it quite amusing. the designer must have been creative yet lame. "Don't be a tomato, catch up!"
As Don Moen said, it's a declaration of faith. If you believe, then you will receive. In times when there seems to be no way out, just look to Him. He will definitely make a way, after all, He's God. When He closes a door, he will open another for you. i've personally experienced that. and it's so amazing how you didnt seem to realise that a particular thing that's been there for so long, yet you took little notice of it, could be the way out for you when there seems to be no way. it's a wonderful thing, God working in ways we cannot see. I guess its because we're too caught up with ourselves and whatever we have to do, that we tend to give things a miss, as in not take notice of it. do not be selfish, do not stick to your own self-centred world. start to observe things around you. i saw someone wearing an ACJC t-shirt on my way to tuition today. I found it quite amusing. the designer must have been creative yet lame. "Don't be a tomato, catch up!"
joash lee at 10:00 PM
Thursday, October 27, 2005
i think this is the worse time of my life. i can never go lower, nothing else can possibly bring me lower, this time i've hit rock bottom. wham! i hit it real hard, just that i'm good at hiding pain, so yeah, you don't see it. i've to make a few major decisions, like really really major, in my eyes la. i've found another of my weakness, i take things too seriously. but i really cant help it, cos i'm living as if tomorrow's the last day of the world. i think that's why i'm worried and care so much about stuff. but some things are way beyond my control. i feel like pouring out my soul on this blog, but i can't cos everybody will read, and there's personal stuff too. and i'm too lazy to keep a journal. you may think that i'm acting, or whatever, i don't care, just don't assume that things are the way you think it is, cos its not. if everything has to be your way, i just don't see the point in staying. if you really really feel so insecure, look to God. you'll definitely find security in him. please, i've enough of this nonsense. i can't take it anymore. don't take matters into your own hand. stop trying to control people's lives, cos its not going to work. if you're trying to control mine, please, don't even try. if you ever, i'm out of here. serious. i've enough of this hypocrisy and all that crap. please don't try to act someone you're not. thanks for trying, but try harder. talk without action is nothing. thanks for showing me who i really am. the real me.
joash lee at 11:13 PM
Saturday, October 22, 2005
problems. its only a matter of how we handle our problems. its not so much of the amount of problems. or is it? yes, i guess. when you think that nothing could get worse, something else happens. its almost like uno stacko. the problems build up after a while, and then everything just falls to pieces. and trust me, that sucks. and you've picked everything up and put it back in place again, everything falls. again. it becomes a routine. you're too tired to do anything. you have no strength to pick the pieces up by yourself. you don't want to burden anyone else by telling them about all the fallen/broken pieces. you only have one person to turn to. that is God. the only one who can really keep your secrets and anything you tell him will be private and confidential. its just between you and him. day after day, week after week, you cry out to him for strength and power to overcome the problems and pick up the pieces once and for all. but no, that doesnt mean that everything won't fall again. it will, but God has promised that he will be there, being the source of strength and power and helping you when you fall.
hate the sin, love the sinner. its so easy to say but its so hard to do. imagine if you've got a secret, and you told your closest, closest, closest, closest friends. and the next week, the whole world knows about your secret. how disappointed can you get? its not so much of the secret being let out, but its more of the betrayal. someone betrayed your trust. not any ordinary someone. its one of your closest friends. now i know how Jesus felt when Judas betrayed him. i mean, they were so close, him being one of Jesus' disciples. i've learnt to keep secrets the hard way now. no more telling of secrets from me. i'll keep everything personal to myself, its between me and Jesus. life's unfair. go read my brother's blog's comic. www.myownwhirleeworld.blogspot.com that's life for you.
hate the sin, love the sinner. its so easy to say but its so hard to do. imagine if you've got a secret, and you told your closest, closest, closest, closest friends. and the next week, the whole world knows about your secret. how disappointed can you get? its not so much of the secret being let out, but its more of the betrayal. someone betrayed your trust. not any ordinary someone. its one of your closest friends. now i know how Jesus felt when Judas betrayed him. i mean, they were so close, him being one of Jesus' disciples. i've learnt to keep secrets the hard way now. no more telling of secrets from me. i'll keep everything personal to myself, its between me and Jesus. life's unfair. go read my brother's blog's comic. www.myownwhirleeworld.blogspot.com that's life for you.
joash lee at 9:41 PM
Friday, October 21, 2005
though my world may fall, i'll never let you go.
joash lee at 10:58 PM
Wednesday, October 19, 2005
crap. crap. crap, crap crap. now the problems are rising in. i have no idea why. i think its because i'm like more sensitive and everything, and i'm not oblivious to things that are happening around me. okay. so everything's my fault. i want to be involved in stuff. you know what? i can't just stand and watch helplessly from the sidelines. i HAVE TO do something. its just me. if you don't like it, then confront me. i'll stop okay? nothing's my problem now. i could have chose not to get involved. but i didnt want people to fall, stumble. i don't want to see people making the same mistakes i made. i really don't. i'm at a loss. tell me what to do. i really don't know. we could all just pretend nothing happened, but i don't want to. why? i don't know why. i really don't. why don't you ask God when you see him? i just cant get it right. everything. i regretted getting myself involved. seriously.
joash lee at 9:50 PM
Tuesday, October 18, 2005
problems. we face problems everyday of our lives. its the matter of how we handle them. i guess some of us are lousy at handling problems. me too. but i guess its better if we share with someone we can trust about it. just cry it out to that person. and the only person i can think of that's always there for me 24/7 is Jesus. you may not feel it now, but He's always always there. really. i can vouch. sometimes problems can be too overwhelming that we feel so helpless. that's what i felt a few days ago. today, problems came one after another. first it was results, next it was something else. sigh. click on 'others' and you'll find some encouraging verses there. when faced with problems, maybe instead of rushing into things, we can take time to be still and wait upon the Lord. you know the song 'Still'? yeah the last line says 'i will be still and know you are God.' i think we should do just that. and my brothers and sisters, keep the faith. persevere. problems may arise, but God, who is the same yesterday today and forever, is always there to guide and help you. He'll make a way. problemsa are part of God's plan in transforming us. we always sing, 'you're the potter and i'm the clay, make me, mold me..' but do we ever realise how is God doing it? by problems! by trials! through it, we will emerge stronger than ever in our faith. just trust him.
i'm in love with you Jesus!
i'm in love with you Jesus!
joash lee at 7:46 PM
Sunday, October 16, 2005
the million dollar question.
1. who are you following now?
a) Jesus b) Jesus
c) Jesus d) Jesus
so i think you all should know the answer. its........all of the above!! woohoo! i'm getting hyper. hyper for Christ. revival for me.! i've made the decision. that is to follow Christ wholeheartedly and not care what others say about me. i'm going on 7th gear for Christ!! yeah man! this is the new joash you're looking at. there's no stopping me. c'mon, let's tell the world about JESUS!!
i made that decision after pastor kow's sermon. and the song 'running after you'. cool huh. the fire in me is burning up for Christ again. i'll dedicate this blog to God. everything i have. I LOVE JESUS. why don't you do the same?
i have decided to follow Jesus,
i have decided to follow Jesus,
i have decided to follow Jesus,
no turning back, no turning back.
1. who are you following now?
a) Jesus b) Jesus
c) Jesus d) Jesus
so i think you all should know the answer. its........all of the above!! woohoo! i'm getting hyper. hyper for Christ. revival for me.! i've made the decision. that is to follow Christ wholeheartedly and not care what others say about me. i'm going on 7th gear for Christ!! yeah man! this is the new joash you're looking at. there's no stopping me. c'mon, let's tell the world about JESUS!!
i made that decision after pastor kow's sermon. and the song 'running after you'. cool huh. the fire in me is burning up for Christ again. i'll dedicate this blog to God. everything i have. I LOVE JESUS. why don't you do the same?
i have decided to follow Jesus,
i have decided to follow Jesus,
i have decided to follow Jesus,
no turning back, no turning back.
joash lee at 9:32 PM
Saturday, October 15, 2005
i don't feel like blogging about anything. i'm still hardened by the thinking that i'm a hypocrite and i shouldnt be telling others what to do when i don't do it myself. i want to thank all the people who encouraged me yesterday. thanks! i don't know what happened to me, i just broke down. but there were two main factors which i shan't state here because its really personal. i guess when i start to think about it again i'll break down again because its totally overwhelming. i keep telling myself that God is there, and that he's there 24/7 to help me, listen to all my troubles and that, but i'm still kinda down. i still think that the exams are the best times of your school life. it is not stressful(in my case) and it gives you leeway to think about stuff. it was really relaxing. i don't know how i'm going to survive the next few months, perhaps with God's guidance and strength, i'll be able to pull through. thank God. i'm crying out to you, pour down your Holy Spirit on me. rain down on me o Lord. amen.
joash lee at 8:04 PM
Tuesday, October 11, 2005
unwavering faith. crossroads. i guess now's the moment. there have been lots of things that are wavering my faith, causing me to think that all these christianity stuff are wrong. and i dun want to believe that. like contradictions in the Bible, false faith and all that crap. clarence asked me a undoubtly unanswerable question that stumped me. 'why do people preach on the Bible when they don't do what it says? if they are not perfect how can they preach to someone to correct their flaws using God's word?' i was stumped. i didnt know what to say. i felt like what he said, preaching to people about stuff when i dun even obey the Bible completely. i felt like a stupid hypocrite, 'conning' people by quoting verses from the Bible to correct them of their mistakes. now i'm really uncertain. if people call themselves christians, why do they not live the christian life? i guess i'm one of them. its now or never. either i live totally for him, or i backslide. there are so many doubts about the christian faith. i don't know what to do now. i'm really at a loss. perhaps i'll wait for God to send a HUGE sign. i'm praying and hoping for that sign to come fast, showing me that i was never wrong in believing. btw christianity is not a way of life. its a relationship with God. many people cant get that fact right. but i'm in no position to tell anyone that now. i'm a hypocrite.
on a lighter note, i went to cineleisure today and watched goal! with 2C'04 peeps. its really a great show. you can feel the guy's emotions and all, it was perfect. it evoked my feelings so much that i nearly cried because it was so touching. it was like you're in the movie. okay. i'll rate it 5/5. you all should go watch it. its the best movie i've ever watched. ever.
on a lighter note, i went to cineleisure today and watched goal! with 2C'04 peeps. its really a great show. you can feel the guy's emotions and all, it was perfect. it evoked my feelings so much that i nearly cried because it was so touching. it was like you're in the movie. okay. i'll rate it 5/5. you all should go watch it. its the best movie i've ever watched. ever.
joash lee at 7:24 PM
Monday, October 10, 2005
oh well, exams are coming to an end. the real life is starting soon. i feel that exams are a time for me to get away from everyday life, not following a routine and all that.. it was quite nice actually, to stray away from normal school day's time-table.. but now, after tomorrow, i'll be busy again. doing stuff that has been like a burden to me all this while. volleyball competitions are up, training gets tougher. council getting ready for the new batch to come in, we'll be super busy, the main com. and preparing for missions at the end of this year.
but fret not,God says. He promises me that he'll never leave me nor forsake me, and he'll provide me the strenght for everyday. i'm gonna claim that promise! well, now's the start of the real thing. better start preparing for 'o's already. that's if i promote to sec 4. i'm super scared i'll retain. not kidding.
okay, i'm gonna mug like crazy now for biology and amath. tomorrows the last paper.
If God can bring you to it, he can bring you through it. when he closes a door, he opens another. thank God. Jesus, i love you so.
but fret not,God says. He promises me that he'll never leave me nor forsake me, and he'll provide me the strenght for everyday. i'm gonna claim that promise! well, now's the start of the real thing. better start preparing for 'o's already. that's if i promote to sec 4. i'm super scared i'll retain. not kidding.
okay, i'm gonna mug like crazy now for biology and amath. tomorrows the last paper.
If God can bring you to it, he can bring you through it. when he closes a door, he opens another. thank God. Jesus, i love you so.
joash lee at 3:19 PM
Tuesday, October 4, 2005
hypocriticism. i admit i am a hypocrite too. saying this and doing otherwise. but i hope its subtle. if you think that i'm a real hypocrite, dun do or look or live the christian life, please tell me, i'll be open to it. because the Bible says 'take the plank out of your own eye before helping others take out the speck of dust in their eye.'
once again, the things i'm going to write are not prejudiced against anyone. it is evince that there is hypocriticism all around us. let me give you an analogy.
you walk into a hall, where worship is going to start. you interact with your friends, with all the vituperations coming out of your mouth. as soon as worship starts, you put on a 'mask', worshiping God wholeheartedly, kneeling down, lifting hands, shouting praises. that's good, it shows that you love God. after worship, you take off the 'mask' immediately and harsh/unkind words come out again. once you walk out of that hall, you totally forget about God and just want to 'fellowship' with your friends.
can you sense that hypocriticism level? it is so high, and so obvious, like two totally different persons. on weekdays you do all sorts of things like getting drunk and playing around with pills, but on sundays you act holy and all, i think that sucks. i mean, what will the world think of christians ? i just read a blog that relates to this. if you wanna know it get it from me. everybody thinks that christians just act holy on sunday and whoosh! you're in heaven! if that's what christians are labelled as, i mean, anyone can just go to church! i dun see any point anymore.
quote from that website.."A very sympathetic (though angry) guy P.S. WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!! I'll see u in h.....wait..no I won't, only you'll be there. P.P.S. Post this on your site so others can see it and benifit from it. And, out of curiosity, exactly how many letters(referring to the website content) have you not posted and/or responded to because they were right and stuff?" (censored/although gramatically wrong)
i'll leave you all to think about it. sometimes i get so pissed at these peeps(not those who condemn us,but the hypocrite christians).
quote from miss wong,"turn from your wicked ways, o sinner!"
once again, the things i'm going to write are not prejudiced against anyone. it is evince that there is hypocriticism all around us. let me give you an analogy.
you walk into a hall, where worship is going to start. you interact with your friends, with all the vituperations coming out of your mouth. as soon as worship starts, you put on a 'mask', worshiping God wholeheartedly, kneeling down, lifting hands, shouting praises. that's good, it shows that you love God. after worship, you take off the 'mask' immediately and harsh/unkind words come out again. once you walk out of that hall, you totally forget about God and just want to 'fellowship' with your friends.
can you sense that hypocriticism level? it is so high, and so obvious, like two totally different persons. on weekdays you do all sorts of things like getting drunk and playing around with pills, but on sundays you act holy and all, i think that sucks. i mean, what will the world think of christians ? i just read a blog that relates to this. if you wanna know it get it from me. everybody thinks that christians just act holy on sunday and whoosh! you're in heaven! if that's what christians are labelled as, i mean, anyone can just go to church! i dun see any point anymore.
quote from that website.."A very sympathetic (though angry) guy P.S. WHAT THE **** IS WRONG WITH YOU?!!! I'll see u in h.....wait..no I won't, only you'll be there. P.P.S. Post this on your site so others can see it and benifit from it. And, out of curiosity, exactly how many letters(referring to the website content) have you not posted and/or responded to because they were right and stuff?" (censored/although gramatically wrong)
i'll leave you all to think about it. sometimes i get so pissed at these peeps(not those who condemn us,but the hypocrite christians).
quote from miss wong,"turn from your wicked ways, o sinner!"
joash lee at 9:20 PM
Monday, October 3, 2005
don't want to stand here and shout your praise, and walk away and forget your name.
i said on sunday, how much i want revival, but then on monday, i cant even find my bible!
how true are these 2 sentences, adopted from the first lines of 'tell the world' and 'believe' respectively. i was thinking of what jd taught us in lesson on sunday. 'how many of you can say that you've lived/are living the christian life?' 'can a person like me really change?'
i'm sad to say that i've never seen anyone live the perfect christian life. well, that's because nobody's perfect. but ever seen someone TRYING real hard to be like Christ? okay, let's get this straight. living the christian life is following Christ, imitating him. but we can only imitate, because we aren't perfect. Philippians 2:5 'your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.'
BUT, relax. God says that he is working on us in this life.. Philippians 1:6 '...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.'
James 1:4 'perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'
well, can a person like me really change? the answer depends on you. God wants you to change, but if you don't want to, then its a different story. God is giving you a choice. ever wondered why when people are really down and out will they than turn to God? its because they realise that they arent perfect, they arent strong. they have to lay down their pride to ask God for help. i've experienced that, you can read my testimony in archives. about the Brunei trip.
that's why people tend to be more receptive to the gospel when they are in jail. the future's bleak for them, they are labelled already. they can't do anything. only God can. at least they're better off than some people, who think that everything they own is by pure luck or their own strength. they dun see a need for God to interfere in their lives. that's why.
i said on sunday, how much i want revival, but then on monday, i cant even find my bible!
how true are these 2 sentences, adopted from the first lines of 'tell the world' and 'believe' respectively. i was thinking of what jd taught us in lesson on sunday. 'how many of you can say that you've lived/are living the christian life?' 'can a person like me really change?'
i'm sad to say that i've never seen anyone live the perfect christian life. well, that's because nobody's perfect. but ever seen someone TRYING real hard to be like Christ? okay, let's get this straight. living the christian life is following Christ, imitating him. but we can only imitate, because we aren't perfect. Philippians 2:5 'your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus.'
BUT, relax. God says that he is working on us in this life.. Philippians 1:6 '...being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.'
James 1:4 'perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.'
well, can a person like me really change? the answer depends on you. God wants you to change, but if you don't want to, then its a different story. God is giving you a choice. ever wondered why when people are really down and out will they than turn to God? its because they realise that they arent perfect, they arent strong. they have to lay down their pride to ask God for help. i've experienced that, you can read my testimony in archives. about the Brunei trip.
that's why people tend to be more receptive to the gospel when they are in jail. the future's bleak for them, they are labelled already. they can't do anything. only God can. at least they're better off than some people, who think that everything they own is by pure luck or their own strength. they dun see a need for God to interfere in their lives. that's why.
joash lee at 3:06 PM
Sunday, October 2, 2005
couldnt help but think what sk posted on his blog. (i hope you dun mind). sunday christians. well, i brought a friend to church today, actually 2. and one of them got traumatised. either by the rowdy ppl or the the way the service was carried out. i felt like a loser, brought a friend to church, couldnt even be a proper host. and, whatever i say next is not directed at anyone. every sunday, we go in to church socializing with one another. during worship, we just lift our hands and worship, during sermon, we talk non-stop, not giving the speaker the respect, we play with our phones, msg among ourselves, totally oblivious to the surroundings. once, i was so pissed, i walked out of the worship hall. yep, and nobody realised, except you of course. sometimes i feel so hypocritical. doing stuff that is not pleasing to God. yet i mentor ppl on how to live for Jesus. trust me, i know exactly how you feel. sigh. but you cant stop, we have to persevere, instead of them influencing us, we have to influence them now. everything is WAY out of control. serious. totally. and nobody realised again of course, except you and me.
joash lee at 2:47 PM