Why do we love?

the devil stinks. he's a sore loser. he knows he's going to lose in the end and he wants to try and pull as many people as he can down with him. over the past month, i've experienced ever so much spiritual warfare, for the first time in my life. first it was cebu, face to face with the devil. next it was myanmar, where my parents had to go back to singapore on the second day because my uncle's condition was getting worse. but that didnt stop us from reaching out to the children. and i THINK God called my mom back, because he's going to do a miracle so huge that all my relatives from my mom's side would be saved.(FYI. ALL are non-believers except my mom) but i don't know. because His ways are higher than our ways and His thoughts are deeper than ours. so he definitely has a plan for my parents in this whole thing. so we're just trusting and believing that everything will turn out fine.

for me, i've been thinking alot on this mission trip. about stuff. and i realise that i'm not that strong as i used to be. i can't persevere any longer. cos it's draining all the energy from me.

IF GOD IS FOR US, WHO CAN BE AGAINST US?

joash lee at 1:04 PM

Thursday, December 22, 2005

God is an interesting God. He can find so many different ways to speak to us, and today i just heard him again. I was playing winning eleven in the morning(for those who don't know, its a soccer game on PS). first game, i thrashed argentina 7-0. 2nd match, first half, i was losing to morocco. 2-0. during the game God said to me. i'm going to test your patience, first there will be sufferings and pain, but in the long run, you'll benefit, and you will be blessed. i think he was saying it to my mom through me, i don't know. (for those who don't know what happened, just pray for my mom. thanks.) and guess what? 2nd half, i came back with not 3 but 4 goals! so the final score was 4-2. i thought i was going to lose, but God proved me wrong.! and when he really wants to tell you something, he'll stop at nothing to convey the message. at first i was doubting whether the message was from God, so i continued to play. next match, i thrashed the other team again. the goals just kept coming in. i was amazed, because in the other match, no matter how hard i tried, no matter how many shot-on-goals i had, i just couldnt score. i could see that God's hand was definitely at work. praise God.

joash lee at 2:06 PM

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

well, went for friendly 'tournament' today at shuqun. things got better, because i remembered that God is there, and he was helping me through. i prayed quite a bit while at the tournament. so that's a great improvement for me. haahah. well, first match, some guy in my team was slacking, he was playing like he didn't want to. so we like lost to some juniors. i was damn pissed, NEARLY said a few vulgarities, but luckily i refrained. yeah. and i don't get angry often. i knew God was there, so yeah. so, now i'm trying real hard to remember God, everywhere i go, and in everything i do.

these few days, i've been doing stuff that i've never did before. somehow i feel that some barrier in my life is gone. now i don't care what other people think about me, i just do what i feel like doing. like when i walk on the streets, i'll tend to think what other people will think of me, the way i walk, the way i do stuff, the way i talk. yeah. sounds stupid right? but i think everyone has it. so now, don't be afraid of being yourself. because its your life, do whatever you want with it. but then again i've been thinking, shouldn't we lay down our whole life at his feet, doing his will only, and denying yourself, but let Jesus shine through you? so how can you be yourself and be an imitator of Jesus at the same time? somebody please give me an answer. tag me. i'd really like to know. i don't know if i'm doing the right thing by being MYSELF.

how great is our God, sing with me
how great is our God, and all will see
how great, how great, is our God.

joash lee at 9:43 PM

Tuesday, December 20, 2005

hey guys. i finally decided to keep my blog. i don't care what others may say. and i changed skin because....i lost the other one. damn. but this is nice also. haha. yep. i'll touch up on it when i come back, i'll be blogging before i leave, so yeah. looking forward to my post? haha. see you all.

joash lee at 10:41 PM

Saturday, December 3, 2005

tomorrow's the trip. not that i'm not excited or anything. but i somehow feel awkward, like something's gonna happen. good or bad, i don't know. i don't know, i don't know. there are many things that i don't know. i don't know who you are anymore. i don't know why i should bother when no one else cares. i don't know what i'm going to do, i don't know. i don't even know why the **** i care. all i know is nobody else cares. i mean, who gives a shite about all these anyway? right? screw off.

don't try so hard. it'll come to you eventually.

joash lee at 9:38 AM