Why do we love?

holidays are over. which is good and bad. good cos i get to go to school and not let myself rot to death at home, but bad cos there are no more breaks before prelims. now is like full gear already. pretty scared i must admit. but worrying won't add a single minute to your life, so why worry? (: throughout this whole holiday i've been through so many ups and downs(mostly downs), but i must say that God has remained faithful all the way. amen. i learnt one thing throughout the whole holidays, which was pretty well summed up by pastor's sermon today. in all things, we must have clean hands, and a pure heart, a heart that does not waver, a heart that seeks after God. keep our eyes focused on God, and everything will become meaningless.

turn your eyes upon Jesus,
look full in His wonderful face,
and the things of the world will grow strangely dim,
in the light of His glory and grace.

so in whatever you do, don't take your eyes away from God even for a moment. trust me, you need God in your whole life, cos He's the only one who can help you. stand firm in the truth my brothers. don't let the world waiver your faith in the solid rock, JC.

joash lee at 8:12 PM

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

gosh sk, your post so relates to my situation. bet you its from God.

its about letting go. not holding back the person whom you hold ever so dearly to you. you knew that one day, she will be taken away from your grasp. yet you still want her. now she's gone, and no one else can ever fill that emptiness in your heart. and you know that no one can do so, except JC. yet its so hard. you keep wanting her back, you cry most of the time when you think of it. and you mean cry. you've never cried over anyone before. at least not that you can remember of. you've never been so sad before, and your friends and family asks you what's wrong. you answer in a simple word-problems. you just hope that they get it, and not push it to find out more. yet you want concern, it seems like no one else ever cares. there are the people who ask out of kaypohness. you give them a stare which tells them to go spend eternity in a very very hot place, and whose landlord has two horns and a tail. but there are those who ask out of genuinity. they care about you. you reveal a bit more-friendship problems. they just look as if they understand and give you a curt nod. but true friends, are those who tell you, i'll be there anytime you wanna talk about your problem. tell me anything in your own time. and they especially take the time to listen to your woes and lend you a shoulder to cry on. true friends, we don't even know them anymore. and there you are, drifting once again, not finding anywhere where you can fit in. think of all the cliques as jigsaw puzzles. all the parts have been filled in, there are no missing parts where you can fit in. either that or you can't fit no matter how hard you try. there. you thought you were free from that, the moment you got her, you figured she would help you overcome your out-of-place-ness, and amazingly, she did. now she's not there anymore, you're falling back into the same thing. you hate it, yet you don't have a choice. now you decided not to hang out with them anymore, for 2 months. you're okay with the others, but its either her or you. you decided you were going to sacrifice for her happiness. let her enjoy, while you suffer in silence. no one understands how you feel. she knows it, but she's decided that's the way she wants it, until things change. so now you're waiting, and waiting. you've come to realise that God wants you to learn to be patient. yet you don't know how long it'll take. you've decided no matter what happens, you're gonna wait, wait and wait till God says go. and in the meantime, get back on track with God, being your best friend.

that's probably the biggest thing happening in my life now.
apart from Him, i can do nothing.

joash lee at 7:04 PM