Why do we love?

joash lee at 9:17 PM

Monday, July 28, 2008

I have so much freaking work to do, I don't know what I'm doing in front of my laptop. I still have to do the damn presentation, which is due tmr, and I'm freaking tired. Came back from school like, an hour ago, and I'm shagged. Gym training from 5-630, and freaking ran so much today, cos it was like PE F&C, Mr Ang kinda quarreled with Ms Liew cos we were supposed to use the softball equipment. Agh, who cares, we're gonna play on Wed anyway. SO MANY THINGS TO DO, AND THERE'S ACHIEVER'S NIGHT THIS WED AT FURAMA, WHAT THE HELL I'M SO DAMN STRESSED OUT.

So things to do:
1. Integration Tutorial (due this week)
2. Partial Fractions Tutorial (due last week, shit!)
3. Differentiation Revision worksheet (due this week)
4. Applications of Differentiation Revision Worksheet (due next week)
5. Poetry Project (due tmr!)
6. Pride and Prejudice Project (due next week)
7. Econs Revision for essay lecture test (this thurs!)
8. Volleyball Boys Information Sheet (due last week, OMG)
9. Bio DNA Tutorial (not due yet, thank God)

TESTS COMING:
1. Poetry (tmr)
2. Econs Essay Lecture Test (Thursday)
3. GP Essay Test (Thurs)

I'm so freaking screwed. Shit. Die TTM. I'm not Superman, by the way.

joash lee at 9:53 PM

Sunday, July 27, 2008

My cousin just came back from Australia, and he bought the havaianas that I asked him to buy. :D Red colour, damn nice. Gonna wear it soon!

I am pierced..

[/edit]

Okay fangyi said the picture was too disturbing for him, and asked me to put up something cuter, knowing that i like red, he asked me to put this up. So don't say I'm paedophile or gay, he's the one. Okay, but the boy's cute. HAHAHAHA (:

joash lee at 10:14 PM

Went for meet the parents today. I must say it's quite good, cos I finally got feedback from the teachers. Well, overall it was all positive, except that I could do much better. And Mdm Goh said I was very restless in class. Hahaha. Saw Mrs Fadzleen, Mdm Goh, Ms Ng, Mr Sas, then left. Went lot 1 for lunch, and after went to meet Fiona. Headed to town for BATMAN, which was incredulously awesome. The ending was a lil' boring, but overall, very very good movie I must say. One of the best plots of all time. The Joker is a sick bastard. Really sick in the mind. Hahaha. After that walked around Orchard, and I bought a watch for 10 bucks. Quite nice, I really like it!

So I decided to start studying again, after a 3 day break of not doing tutorials and h/w. So went to Yewtee Macs with Michelle and studied from 930-1130. I was super hungry, so I bought noodles, and I'm eating it now. I have practically nothing to blog about, just that I enjoyed my day today. (:

joash lee at 12:15 AM

Friday, July 25, 2008

Now I have 2 blogs! click here.

joash lee at 5:31 PM

Thursday, July 24, 2008

Rain, rain

As the rain pours I feel
My body soaked by God's tears
Yet, I feel ironically dry on the inside
The rain masks my tears,
No one can tell, the hurt inside
is mounting up to a large thunderstorm
which one day will release it's fury
Onto the people that hurt it's owner
I would stay in a glasshouse and curl
up into a little ball, cosy as I will be
With or without you, that's up to you.
I don't want to stay in this rain all alone
To feel the cold wind blowing against
my skin, and to feel the howling go deep
into my soul.
All alone, deep within
The sorrow hurts, the hunger burns
The anger stirs, the mind turns
The heart melts, the stomach churns.
When will the wheel stop turning?
When will the soul stop wandering?
when he has found her.

My dad's back! Just took an hour's ride to airport T2, and had Sakae for dinner. Teppanyaki! Quite nice, but not enought to fill my stomach. My brother went for eye checkup today, doctor says he has to go for surgery to strengthen his cornea, or be put on the waiting list for cornea transplant. See what the doctor says, he's going for another checkup on Tues.

Happy Birthday Ber Han!

joash lee at 10:21 PM

Wednesday, July 23, 2008

Today was shit. Ultimate terrible day. First, my CT made us (the front row) stay back to talk to us. I was quite upset cos we were questioned about the 2nd row and 3rd row's results. Apparently we are constantly too disruptive in class. I'd agree with that in term 2, but this term, we all toned down already, yet we're still being questioned. I'm starting to wonder if people are being prejudiced against us. Anyway we voiced our opinions already, wonder if it'll channel through. By the way, for those who don't know, we retainees and some others always sit in the front row, and SOME PEOPLE just make alot of noise (irritating but HILARIOUS), so we're classified as front row, the noisy bunch.

Then after that, headed for the 9th Student Council Investiture. Quite interesting I must say. A lil' touching, but otherwise, I was dying to go for training.

And it wasn't all a beautiful sight. The more I go for trainings, the more I've come to realise something. Maybe it isn't so much about your passion, about your love for the sport. But more for the people around you, doing the same things with you. As I start training with the J1s, I find myself in a different wavelength. I just can't seem to connect, or even bond with them. They're like living in their own world. And, there's a damn age gap already, is it their mentality, I'm senior J1? I feel so distanced from everyone. All their little cliques here and there, how to bond you tell me? I talk to them, no one wants to listen. All sit still. Zuokun say something, all start moving. Really, am I that incapable? Sometimes I feel damn helpless and useless. The feeling sucks, when you're alone, and like, everyone else has their cliques, and they can choose not to listen to you.

I've been thinking about stepping down from volleyball, and I'm still waivering on my decision. I mean, since my batch graduated already, I shouldn't stay too. And somemore I really don't feel for the team anymore. Maybe it's the people, I'm not sure. I just feel like I go training for the sake of it, different from last year. And I feel i'm failing as captain, and Uzuo can do a much better job. So why not? Things to ponder about during my long long breaks.

My dad's coming home tmr! Going airport with my mom to pick him up, and have dinner there. Can't eat popeyes! I'll convince them for Swensens.

Oh My God, the pianist upstairs should fix his damn clock. He plays the piano at unearthly hours. 11pm on weekdays, 8am on weekends. I swear if i move out i'll smash his piano first.

joash lee at 10:32 PM

Monday, July 21, 2008

I've come to realise that life isn't all about studying, all about volleyball. I realised that life is about having a relationship with God, developing it, and nurturing it to become meaningful. And I'm definitely guilty of only talking to God when i'm in trouble, I just forget God when times are good y'know. I'm guilty of that, I admit. But I want to change all that. Really. I felt really really small last night, like a grain of sand, in the middle of the shore. But yesterday, I came upon this really really really beautiful song on my ipod by Corinne May, Five Loaves and Two Fishes. It's a song about a story in the Bible, where a boy gave up his lunch of 5 loaves and 2 fishes to Jesus, and he multiplied it to feed 5000 people. Coincidentally (or not), yesterday's sermon was about this too. I felt like I was useless yesterday, till I heard this song, and I know that my God, is able to use any amount of talent or potential you may have to change the world, so never, ever doubt your little capability. This video made me cry, take 5 mins just to watch it, will you?

Five Loaves and Two Fishes

A little boy of thirteen was on his way to school
He heard a crowd of people laughing and he went to take a look
Thousands were listening to the stories of one man
He spoke with such wisdom, even the kids could understand

The hours passed so quickly, the day turned to night
Everyone was hungry but there was no food in sight
The boy looked in his lunchbox at the little that he had
He wasn't sure what good it'd do, there were thousands to be fed

But he saw the twinkling eyes of Jesus
The kindness in His smile
And the boy cried out
With the trust of a child
he said:

"Take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all to feed them all"

I often think about that boy when I'm feeling small
And I worry that the work I do means nothing at all

But every single tear I cry is a diamond in His hands
And every door that slams in my face, I will offer up in prayer

So I'll give you every breath that I have
Oh Lord, you can work miracles
All that you need is my "Amen"

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
I hope it's not too small

I trust in you
I trust in you

So take my five loaves and two fishes
Do with it as you will
I surrender
Take my fears and my inhibitions
All my burdens, my ambitions
You can use it all
No gift is too small

joash lee at 11:28 PM

Sunday, July 20, 2008

Dear God, I'm sorry, I'm unable to do it. I can't live with the fact that masquerades are all around me when I go out on Sunday mornings. I can't possibly see how to continue when no one's committed. I don't see why somethings are meant to be, when friends become more important than family, when phsyical food more important than spiritual food, when hate is more popular than love, when sex is more worth than true love, when lusts control the media. How do I live in this damned world, when most of the believers have succumbed to worldly pleasures. I'm sorry if i'm starting to doubt the whole motion of this religious thing. It's not that I doubt you God, I know you're so very real in my life, but sometimes it's so damn hard. Y'know? No one's there to guide me, no one's there to help me. How do I continue dragging myself out of bed every sunday morning like that? I have no, for lack of a better word, incentive, except the ever-so-blasting music that the band plays. Somehow I sense that the technicalities have finally caught up to them, instead of being anointed and playing for the sake of an audience of One. Jesus I love you, teach me to be a christian. Teach me how to live this life that's pleasing to you O God.

joash lee at 10:38 PM

Saturday, July 19, 2008

Invitational tournament today. We won it all. Haha. But it's a lil' unfair, we're A division, and there was C and B boys, so if we didn't win, we ought to be ashamed of ourselves. Clifford and Jeremy played today, and I must say they're quite good. Got a lil' pissed at the team at first, but after a while was too tired to care, and we were already playing better by then.

I don't know what's wrong with me today, getting upset for every small matter. Majority of 'em were late, and I got pissed. I had to do everything myself. Gahh. After training washed the whole damn cooler by myself, and went home alone. Sometimes i wonder if I should have stayed in volleyball, or I should have stepped down. A part of me regrets staying.

Studied at yew tee macs, just came back. I've been doing a lot of lit and maths lately. I'm expected to score at least 2 As for promos. So these are the two I'm banking on. Econs and Bio, if i get a pass, I happy already.

My dad's flying off later, off to Taiwan, and I'm quite worried cos there's a flood there, and typhoons of all sorts. He doesn't go away much, so I'm not used to it.

Sometimes you can't make it on your own. That's when Jesus comes in. I thank God for you, Jesus.

joash lee at 11:58 PM

Thursday, July 17, 2008

I can't believe I got caught for long hair. What the hell right. Never mind, i'm gonna get it cut this weekend. I wanna catch The Dark Night and Hellboy. I'm deprived of movies lately. This saturday invitational tournament! So far the schools involved - Zhenghua Team A and Team B, Bukit Panjang Team A and Team B, PJC Team A. Quite excited, it's a chance for us to poach players. Haha. We're sending in a team too! And we haven't played in like, years? So we'll probably lose I think. Gahh.

Today the rest of the J1s had listening compre, so us retainees got together. Okay it's just me Shazwan Eunice and Weijie. We played tennis and I won all of 'em! Haha, kudos to the tennis lessons i took last year. And thanks to Christopher for lending me your racket. My stupid brother left it at the club. I'm now really really tan. As dark as Athiyah already. YEAH. Of course lah, 3 hours in the sun, you think? And I freaking wore my sunglasses, so i have a damn tanline around my eyes. HAHAH. Some panda.

I swear lit really makes you think a hell lot. About existentialism, life, purpose, spirituality, blah blah blah. Ohmygawd i'm like feeling highly intellectual now, either that, or really dumb.

Random thought - I feel like drinking beer now.

Thanks Joy for your constant encouragement. It means alot to me. (:

joash lee at 10:06 PM

Wednesday, July 16, 2008

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So we headed down to Pulau Tekong today for our learning journey. It was on the whole very fun, because i finally got to see sides of the army BMT that the public eye wasn't allowed to see. We got into this container building thingy, and there was this simulation for firing a M16 into a screen, with a target that is simulated to be 100m away. And they allowed us to go try. I went 10 times. It was so damn fun! We had a mini competition, see who could hit the centre of the target the most times. Each time we reloaded, was about 6 shots. Waay cool i tell you. The food ration also, amazing. It's one piece of bag, like a non-transparent ziploc bag, but inside, there's all kinds of things. Pasta, mee goreng, longan, you name it, they have it. And after that we saw the obstacles each cadet had to go through, to pass some SOC, i think its Standard Obstacle Course. It was interesting, but overall, the highlight was the simulation of the shooting range of M16. It was damn cool I tell you. I had many headshots, and many bullseye, so much so that the guy facilitating recommended me for marksman. ;) Haha, alright enough with the bragging, let's go on to pictures!

This probably sums up my day in a nutshell. Couldn't take any pictures there, so we took it on the boat. Pulau Tekong was interesting. But the ride back was better. :D

joash lee at 7:41 PM

Tuesday, July 15, 2008

Humans, whether in crowds, or alone, will in one point or another feel lonely. That is one of the many emotions that a human is able to feel. The human mind is then stretched, when it feels more than one emotion at a time. It is sometimes confused too, when it sometimes changes emotions very quickly.

I'm sure you've heard of people feeling lonely when he's amongst a group of people. And ironically, people can feel secured even when he's alone. Why? Is it because he's feeling that no one cares for him? He's like a backup plan, he's insignificant in the eyes of his "friends"? No one really knows. Because as time passes, he has learnt how to play charades - putting up a mask to hide the true feelings that is so easily rejected by society, even better, his "friends". Call it maturity, he has learnt to hide his emotions very well. Unlike some people, he can pretend to be happy, so as not to be a killjoy, and pretend to be emo, so he doesn't have to interact with people. He wonders if that's a good or bad thing, hiding 'em emotions. Only when he's all alone, and in front of God, then will he take off this oh-so-thick mask, and come naked and pathetic before his God.

Disappointment with the Self should only be kept to the Self, and not exposed to everyone around, it may very well hinder other's progress. One's expectations may differ from others, so if people start comparing, those with not-so-high expectations would feel inferior to those who have set their targets high. Sometimes, he feels that way. People all around saying out loud, in front of his face, "Shit, a C sucks! I should have gotten an A!", when he's satisfied with a D. Does that make him feel inferior? Not only is he a retainee, he's worked hard for this result, and there are insensitive people saying, "Wah, I never study also get C, you study so hard also no use." He hates these kind of people. All in all, others shouldn't be involved in your own epectations of the Self, because it's between the Self and the I, not the Self and Society. That's different.

Society is bringing about harmful things, violent acts, and vulgar voices. A taboo in the past, may very well be used freely on the streets nowadays. Something that is considered inappropriate in the past is now roaming the streets. Development has taken society to a whole new level. A level that some cannot bear to enter, because they still cling on to the past that they can't seem to let go, and thus falling behind, into the rustiness of the past, while everyone else is getting synchronised with the iPhone/iTouch and what not. Can't a guy keep his past? If everyone starts erasing it, where does his identity lie then?

joash lee at 11:25 PM

Today after school, i decided to come home alone and spend time alone. I know what you're thinking, emo right. A lil' lah. I just keep thinking of companionship, like so many thousand couples i see around, yeaaah, maybe i'm a biiiiit jealous. It's nice to have someone you can spoil y'know? Someone you can pamper, someone you can be vulnerable to. They always say must study first, i think that's bull. I think it's darn possible to juggle cca, studies and relationships all together, why not? I've seen many people do it. Sadly, it's not time for me yet.

Onto other things, today's class was, well, a tad too violent. People pushing around, people screaming, people crying. I sometimes wonder whether these bunch of people are really 16/17/18 year olds. Cos they seem like primary school kids to me. Got quite annoyed and disappointed, so Athiyah Eunice and I just sat in one corner of the class and kept quiet, we were too tired to do anything. Maybe I can't stand this anymore. And y'all wonder why i hate my class so much.

Okay, never mind about it already. I freaking ate at every break today! Even the morning one. So I had chicken+charsiew rice at 830am, Malay stall's pasta/macaroni at 1030am, chicken chop at 1pm, went home, ate a slice of cake and a bowl of koko crunch at 4pm, dinner with my mom, Subway, at 615pm, dabao-ed a footlong meatball marinara, had it at 8pm. OMG i'm still not full. I think this is the aftermath of yesterday's gym. I know what you're thinking, what the freak right!! Haha, i shocked myself too. LOL. I can still go on. I just cooked some pasta for tmr's break, save some money, hope it turns out good. I'm a food-aholic!

Save me from this road I'm on.

joash lee at 9:25 PM

Monday, July 14, 2008

So I got my results for lit today. I got a D. (: I'm quite satisfied. I know i say this every post. Hahahaha, i'm just repeating everything. But really, i'm really happy my new study method has achieved it's motive, better results. So for this year's MYEs, DCSDE. Not too bad. Better than last year. DUUUU. Haha. Today gym-ed with Zuokun and Zhikai, I came up with a workout plan during my break, and let Mr Yaw and Mr Ang modify it. They said it was okay, and really, we did until everywhere aching. Damn tired now. Anyway, I forgot to blog about this - that day Sunday, when playing soccer, the ball hit my chin quite hard, and i think i dislocated my jaw. I don't know how to tell. When i yawn, it hurts like hell, and when i eat, it hurts too. Basket. Very pain! I can't open my mouth widely, it sucks! AGH. Okay, off to do my Econs essay, making that 2 in 2 days. :D

joash lee at 10:28 PM

Sunday, July 13, 2008

It's been great so far. I managed to balance my play time and my study time. Played soccer for the whole of yesterday, the Faith Methodist PPRSC Challenge Cup. I joined Gabriel's team, which consists of Victor, Eddy, Gabriel, Alden and Abiel. We got 3rd. I scored like 8 goals.. Haha. Quite satisfied. I'm now quite tan. Tomorrow PE, and gym training. I'm coming up with a workout for volleyball, so our PT will be on Mondays from now on. Anyway, today was bowling, and i was damn impressed with myself. 3 games with a total pinfall of 437. I was ranked 21, out of 136 bowlers. Not bad eh? Hehe. And also, I got an average of 140-something per game. Best record so far..

I've been thinking about alot of things lately. More of friendships and relationships. I've come to the conclusion that I am to accept who my friends are and not judge them or criticise them, cos I'm just a mere human being too. So I apologise to anyone if I've offended/judged/criticised you in one way or another.

MY DIET. I've been controlling my diet for the past 2 weeks, and I've been keeping to the canoeing food ban, and I must say it's quite crazy, I haven't eaten chilli or ice-cream for 2 whole weeks. Amazing huh. I felt damn healthy. But today my whole family wanted to eat Carl's jr. so i had no choice but to follow (anyway the canoeing team can break food ban already right), and i ordered the healthiest possible. Charboiled Grilled Chicken club. And I pinched a lil' fries from them. Heehee. And i ordered a milkshake. Okay, I freaking broke my foodban! AGH. But it's okay. I'll limit myself to at least once a month. That's okay right? And damn it, now I feel nauseous.

Gym training and PE tomorrow! Can't wait. :D

joash lee at 11:13 PM

Friday, July 11, 2008

Chapelton was the bomb man. It was awesome. At first it was a little boring, then after a while, when David hyped the crowd up, we just prayed and invited God into the place.. Then after asking everyone forward, we started Hosanna and after that, everyone sang their hearts out, all the way. I really really felt ministered just now, i mean, we only practiced once, and it's amazing what God can do with you, if you just lay it at his feet. Surrender it all to him, and he shall be in control. I really really felt his presence in the place, and just worshipped freely, with no burdens attached.

Midyears were not too bad. I know i keep saying this in every post, but i just want to remind myself how happy i am, so i can work hard and strive to get better results, to make me happier. Last year's results were terrible, this year was a drastic improvement. (:

GP - D (2007), D (2008)
CL - B (2007)
Maths - U to a B
Econs - very very low U, to an S
Literature - very very low U, one more paper's results to be released
Biology - ultimate low U, to an E

When i say very very low, it's like 20-something per cent, overall mark. And for Bio, it was below 20 per cent, i think 16, for overall. That's how terrible i was last year. And I'm proud to say it's a great achievement. But this is only MYE, and i can't be complacent, so I'm gonna keep to my studying method and just chiong for promos. I wanna get at least a C for alll subs, and an A for math!! (:(:

Anyway, onto the spiritual/emotional side, i think i'm becoming more and more emo. Like, I really don't wish to hang out with anyone anymore, and just be a chao mugger. I just want the results so badly. And I've been thinking about life and all again, I just don't know what to do, what I'm here for, what my purpose is, and as Mr Sas puts it, finding our fulfilment in life is a form of art, and without it, it's meaningless. This is what literature does to you. It makes you think, it forces you to come out of your oh-so-tiny brain and think and think and question and ponder, what the hell are you doing in this Earth and why are you living this life. There's ought to be more than this, what's next? What's new? I keep questioning, I need some damn answers! tsk tsk!

joash lee at 11:21 PM

Thursday, July 10, 2008

It is inevitable that we all should feel separated, just that I didn't think it would be that drastic a change. Now going to trainings make me feel a lil' uncomfortable, cos I don't really know most of the guys, and also i don't hang out with 'em often. I feel like all my J2 friends are slowly drifting away. That's life isn't it. It's just quite sad, cos they have to study and study, while here we are busy socializing. Hah. I guess if I wanted to, I could study damn freaking hard, and promote with flying colours. A D for GP. Overall, I'm quite satisfied with my results, but I know i can do better. Cos I know i didn't put in a 100% effort for MYEs. For promos, I think i'll chiong. Classmates, please do us a favour and study! I don't want our class to split, I really don't. So let's all work hard together and promote. Remember our aim - to promote as a class. So don't give up yeah. 10 more weeks, just chiong.

I have so many things to do now, it's overbearing! Booth for sports forum on saturday, contact list for new volleyball members, results collation for all members, corrections for MYEs, tutorials that are due, chapelton tomorrow, AGH. I swear I'll start getting my act together next week, start mugging. And i'm not going to talk only, i'm really gonna revise and practice. So everyone, mug with me!

Cheer up! It hurts me to see you this way.

joash lee at 11:26 PM

Wednesday, July 9, 2008

For the past two days, I was nearly late, twice in a row. Yesterday, I was at school bus stop at 737am, with Eunice and Shazwan. I was like, shit! Sure late one. Buuut, we ran from traffic light to gate, and the Indian teacher was there shouting and screaming at us. Hahaha. Hilarious. And today, I woke up at 710am, when i set my alarm at 620. Freak man, can't believe i snoozed all the way. JOKE. Then, i didn't bathe, wore my contacts, and ran out of the house. I contemplated taking the train, cos it was damn dark, and started to drizzle, but heck, i wasn't gonna get my ez-link confiscated! So i walked the canal route. Damn, record time, less than 20 mins reach school. Usually takes about 25-30 mins if i walk at normal pace. Anyway, it started to rain quite a fair bit, and i was kinda getting drenched. And this really nice girl from 08S03, who was walking the canal too, came up to me and offered to share her umbrella. I was like, "wow, thanks!" She was really nice about it and all. I doubt if I were in other schools, no one would do that. Heck, other schools have shelters damn it. Anyway, just wanna say thanks to that girl. Can't remember her name, think it was Iris or Irene or something like that. :D

joash lee at 10:32 PM

I'm so damn happy. I got an E for my bio, something that i've failed all the way last year.. I'm damn damn happy. Econs wasn't that good, I've got an S. But still, all my subjects have improved by a tremendous amount this year, awesome. (:

joash lee at 9:01 PM

Tuesday, July 8, 2008

I'm going for another run to vent my frustrations and unhappiness. I'm so damn stressed up I tell you. Running keeps emotions away.

Run
Run
Run.

[/edit]

RAN.

I got back my Maths results today. It's a tad above expectations. I've got 35/60, and that's a C. An additional mark would give me a B, but I'm quite satisfied with the huge improvement. Last year I got what, 18/60. So it's a vast difference. Biology and the rest tmr, I'll try to stay calm about it.

joash lee at 9:50 PM

Monday, July 7, 2008

I just ran 12k in less than an hour. I'm quite proud of myself. Running keeps my emotions away. I felt really really good when i was running just now. Sorry about yesterday's bitch fit. I was just ranting and throwing out all my emotions from the past week. See ya pals.

joash lee at 1:52 PM

I really detest some people. Yeah i know I'm a loser and all, and people naturally don't ask me go out with them, but if y'all ask me to open up my house for y'all to play, at least have the decency not to make other plans damn it. Sometimes I feel like I'm a damn idiot, arranging and organising for people to come my house, when there y'all are, making other plans for yourself, and I'm the freaking backup plan. That's why sometimes I hate holidays, i hate to stay at home, and nobody ever calls me out. So life just sucks during the hols. I'm really glad it's over. If this carries on, I'm not going to open up my house anymore. And I really must say, this is the worse calss I've ever been in my 12 years of education. I hate it to the max. Honestly, retaining wasn't the issue, getting the new class was.

I just wish I studied a tad harder so I could promote with my old class. Anyway, remind me never to go out with y'all anymore. I don't wanna be a dog, following everywhere. Instead of asking, "where are we going?", i find myself asking, "where are y'all going? (so i can follow and not look like a loser who has no friends, who hangs out in town alone)" Sorry if i don't have your oh so hectic social life, where everyday someone else asks you out, and i'm sorry if i'm a freaking not-rich guy, who has to actually save up to buy the things that i want. Some people just have all the money, and all the friends. I'm just getting used to the damn life, where you can trust no one. And i'm sorry if i'm not as cool or as hip as all of you, and i know some things i'm kinda insignificant and lousy at, such as socializing, but not doing those things doesn't mean my life sucks. At least I have my morals, my church and volleyball mates. I'm not the spiky hair, flirt with all the girls and act gay with my bimbotic accent type of guy, and sometimes y'know, rugby isn't the only sport in PJ. So just stop boasting about it.

Call me a bitch, i don't care. I don't even know who to trust now, everyone's like gone. I never should have retained. J2s are a much nicer bunch of people. I just can't stand some senior J1s. This is what i'm feeling now and it sucks. TTM. I'm gonna drown my sorrows.... in sleep. Screw it all. BITCH.

joash lee at 12:05 AM

Saturday, July 5, 2008

Happy Birthday Ruth Leong! May God bless you richly! Sorry i'm a lil' late. :P

joash lee at 12:01 AM

Friday, July 4, 2008

Today, Eunice, Weijie and Sim came over to play basketball. Okay, it was just weijie sim and me. Eunice just stood there and watched. We were halfway playing, and got sick of it, so we spotted some Malay kids playing soccer, and we asked if we could join, they were like, pri 6 from Yew Tee Primary. So they came over to the basketball court and we played, 3 vs 6. They were quite good, although a bit small sized, we didn't even dare shoot hard. Haha, but it was fun. They were funny and quite cute, and really really skilful.

So after that, we watched videos on Youtube, mostly soccer and basketball stunts.. Quite interesting. It was then time for Sim and I to go to ACJC for Passion AC, some worship session. It was surprisingly good. Really had a close encounter with God, refreshing and great. I felt like all my burdens disappeared. And nice to catch up with some old friends.

Guys, keep next friday free. Chapelthon, 11th July, 630pm, FMSS. It'll be yet another session of praising God, and a refreshing time to get away from your studies. (: Refer to the poster in my previous post.. See ya!

To all canoeists, all the best for your competitions next week alright? Go, ROW LIKE HELL.

joash lee at 11:47 PM

I wasted so damn much money today. But finally, I've got Carrie Underwood's latest album, Carnival Ride. It's quite nice, and maybe I'm into country music now. Her voice is awesome, love it to the max. 20 bucks on CD, 7 bucks on movie, 5 bucks on Starbucks, 13 bucks on guitar strings. Ohmygod i'm broke. Second tanning session tmr, playing basketball. I'll try to exercise much more frequently now, since training will resume next week..

joash lee at 12:03 AM

Thursday, July 3, 2008

Current Music - Gavin Degraw, I'm in Love with a Girl
Current Mood - awesome.

Hello people, I'm having a great 5 day break. Yesterday, I spent 6 hours in the sun. 3 hours soccer at Limbang with classmates and Yande's class, with Bok and Sim. Then after that, swimming with Shazwan and Ber Han. I'm now officially black. Tan to the max. So, movies galore, I've watched Get Smart, Wanted, The Hulk, and I must say, if I were to rank all of 'em, Get Smart would be top, Hulk 2nd and Wanted last. Haha.

Exams are over, but I still feel the damn burden of promoting. I think it'll be quite hard. Damn. Anyway, I'm gonna chiong already. Just heard my parents say that we MIGHT go USA in December. WOOHOO. Never been there in my life.

I'll be heading out to town later with 'em A06-ers! Finally, after like so damn long. I can't wait to hang out with them! It's been so long since we went out as a class. Later!

For you, I really enjoyed the times. Really, and I appreciate the things you're doing, it really means alot to me. Alot. So thank you. :D

joash lee at 9:27 AM