Why do we love?

Damn. I'm so tired from all the studying. I feel as if i'm having common tests. If only my tests were over. I just found out today that midyears are coming damn soon. like 13 more weeks. And H1 is before the June holidays. Damn. You tell me how. I'm feeling so spaced out, i can't do anything constructive. I keep thinking about it, but it's obviously of no use. Nothing's gonna happen. Nothing can change. And also, what the hell am i doing with my spiritual life? Somehow i'm using all sorts of defense mechanisms to shun people from getting to know me better, damn it, but i so long for the intimacy.

Where to find solace?
Where to find care?
What happened to free hugs?
Whom to will I share?

Oh well, something to look forward to. Vivo on Friday with the homies, it's been quite long since we chilled. And sentosa on saturday. That's the bomb man. Can't wait to suntan and play my volleyball. Till then.

__________by Joash Lee

I once saw a jester standing outside a box
He was looking dejected so I decided to help him out
"What is the problem?", I asked the jester
"I keep thinking I'm in the box, when I'm not"

He told me that he was deluded
And that sarcasm and humour was his facade
"Why then?" I asked, in all concern
"Unable to get in myself, which is what I really want"
He said that he was looking for,
Not fame nor fortune
But something much more valuable
Than gold or silver or any shiny piece
That is someone who listens, someone who cares
Someone to hug, someone to share
Someone to lean on, someone to listen to
Someone, someone

"All I'm asking for is that special someone
Is that an impossible task?"
Turns out he was afraid that
People would get so near the box
And found out that inside it
Is Empty
And that the Emptiness is slowly finding it's way
Out of the box, to devour his rotting flesh
So every means and every way
He tries to get out,
But after years and years of effort
It is still nothing, but an insecurity,
An empty box
An emptiness
Just...
Empty.