Why do we love?

This Friday's our official handing over ceremony, dinner at Wisma Food Republic, and I must say I'm feeling ambivalent about it, I want to hang out with the team again, and at the same time, I don't want them to step down. So ironic, damn. This stepdown for them, is a rise up for me, being the most senior in the team, I have to stop my nonsense and lead the team to greater heights. And I just want to say that I hope that we will train hard and make the most out of this little time we have in JC, to not regret anything.

I've come to terms with the J2s stepping down, because of something that Mr Sas said in literature lecture today. "If the old don't go, the new can't come." I feel that's quite true, actually it was in the context of the poet, where he finally learns to let go and accept the things that come his way. If you can't change, for lack of a better word, destiny, then you must as well be mature and live with it, and better yet, enjoy it. And that's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna grace this ceremony thingy with upmost joy, yet at the same time I know I will feel upset about it, and maybe I'll tear, but it's okay, at least this shows that I'm human, not devoid of sentiments and feelings. If you don't know me already, I'm quite emotional, and I cry easily, just that nobody knows, and I hide it pretty well. And all my emotions are hidden under some sort of mask, all I need is one trigger, and the mask breaks, and I'll cry to the max. Well, I must say that the mask is quite fragile.

I feel so damn much for this team, because personally, I know that YY and I have took pains and countless efforts to try and build this team up, literally from scratch. With only 4 experienced players, we had to train up the other guys who didn't have volleyball in their vocabulary. And I must say they improved a tremendous bit, which made us very happy, of course. And the bonding within the team grew also, with our first outing last year to Sentosa without the girls, and that was the turning point. We bonded waay much, and skills wise, let's just say that beach volleyball trains one up pretty well too. From then on, it was high all the way.

After that, the next stop was Bukit Jalil Sports School in KL, Malaysia. We were freaking awesome there I tell you, that few matches were probably the best ones of my life, throughout my 'career' as a volleyball player, for 6 years running. That was really good, cos the bonds b/w the team strengthened yet again, and morale increased, and from there, we set our target, to be top 4. That 3 matches were the benchmark for our standard. That will probably remain in my memory for a damn damn long time, if not forever. The atmosphere, the togetherness, the team spirit.

Coming back, I was initially disappointed when the few that trained so hard to get to main team were cut out by the new intake of J1s, who were definitely more experienced, with 2nd as their highest achievement, in Bukit Panjang GH. (With 5 supposed to join us, only 3 remain, and I know that it wasn't by chance these 3 stayed.) But all that stopped, when YY sent us a 5 msg long speech on how we must respect coach's decision, and how we'll stick together as a team. I still have that msg.

Anyway after my fairfield juniors got their O level results, most of them had average scores, like 13/14, and probably could apply for ACJC, if they all wanted to form a volleyball team there. My previous coach asked me too, if I wanted a transfer to ACJC, cos if I went, they would have enough to form a team. I contemplated this for a long time, and finally decided to stay, cos I couldn't bear to leave the team, and after all that we've been through.

So then, start of A division, our first 2 matches were shit. Played like crap, I think I was the main catalyst, but anyhow, we still managed to beat them. We were all damn disappointed at our performances and knew we could do better, so after the matches, we did a real long and thorough self evaluation of the team, and sorted out our differences (trust me, there were many). And after that, it was on the highway to top 4.

Why did I type out all this? I just wanted to let you know how much we've been through as a team, and now you guys know why I feel so damn much for this team, cos we've really been through so much. So much, and I'll definitely miss all you people. Now nobody to laugh at my stupid jokes and crazy stuff I do in trainings. Really, these are the true moments that'll define my JC life, in a nutshell. To sum it up, it all adds to one thing - PJC VOLLEYBALL 07/08.