Why do we love?

Hello! I'm now blogging on my laptop while watching teevee, hahaha! It's quite distracting actually. LOL. Anyway, alot of things have been on my mind lately, mostly, studies, religion and relationships.

I think all of us would agree that since now's the last week of hols, everyone's trying to mug their asses off to get ready for MYEs next week. Sometimes I feel that there's no more time, and that the amount of things to study is like hell lot, so sometimes the feeling's so overbearing that I just wanna give up, but then the more I think about giving up, the more I'm wasting time. Am I right? I think last year I've wasted enough time thinking about such things, and didn't really concentrate on the more important stuff - studying. So now I've learned my mistake, and blocked out everything to study my ass off for this MYE.

Religion. Being a Christian is tough, being a non-Christian is tougher. I'm glad God is there for me whenever I need him, and anywhere I go, he's there. Maybe sometimes I start to question some stuff, because of all the things that are happening in the world, all the earthquakes and natural disasters. I just think that whatever happens is for a reason. I really want to come back to God, I really want to be a true Christian. He's more of a friends person, with his priority as friends. Family is always a last resort, and family's where you get your money. I'm quite pissed off, that he would do things for his friends that he wouldn't do for his own family. A few examples. Just a visit to my grandparents, and he says he's not free. My grandparents from both sides are still alive, and I bet they haven't seen him in, what, 6 months? And I'm not exxagerating. I think the last time he actually made time to visit them was Chinese New Year. Even huge family gatherings, he doesn't attend. At least I still follow my parents to go visit them, and sometimes I jog over to my grannie's house, just to see whether they're doing well. Anyway, just the other day, his good friend dislocated a shoulder, and needed to go to the hospital. He wanted to leave to visit, when we were having Father's Day Dinner, and my dad was telling my mom, "That time I go colonscopy operation, he also never come visit me.." And I recalled, the other time, my mom was in hospital for a knee surgery, he didn't even bother going down to visit her. At least I made the effort.

He can say that he's in army and all, but he comes back everyday, because he's in PES E and is just a clerk. That gives him ample and sufficient time to spend with the family. Anyway, Saturday and Sundays are supposed family days, where twice a week we have dinner as a family, the 4 of us. But sometimes, he chooses his friends over us, and that upsets me alot. I'm very annoyed, cos he doesn't really treat us well. I've heard so many other people's siblings, go out together, have dinner with the family, blah blah blah. Y'know? Sometimes I just wish for a sister, either older or younger, and that would help me alot, cos I know females tend to be more family-oriented. Sigh. Life's like that.

Back to the gym work out, it's been nearly 1 month since I touched any physical activity. DAMN i'm fat! Alright, enough with the blabberings, I'm off to sleep, France vs Italy and Romania vs Holland. CIAO.