Why do we love?

I really detest some people. Yeah i know I'm a loser and all, and people naturally don't ask me go out with them, but if y'all ask me to open up my house for y'all to play, at least have the decency not to make other plans damn it. Sometimes I feel like I'm a damn idiot, arranging and organising for people to come my house, when there y'all are, making other plans for yourself, and I'm the freaking backup plan. That's why sometimes I hate holidays, i hate to stay at home, and nobody ever calls me out. So life just sucks during the hols. I'm really glad it's over. If this carries on, I'm not going to open up my house anymore. And I really must say, this is the worse calss I've ever been in my 12 years of education. I hate it to the max. Honestly, retaining wasn't the issue, getting the new class was.

I just wish I studied a tad harder so I could promote with my old class. Anyway, remind me never to go out with y'all anymore. I don't wanna be a dog, following everywhere. Instead of asking, "where are we going?", i find myself asking, "where are y'all going? (so i can follow and not look like a loser who has no friends, who hangs out in town alone)" Sorry if i don't have your oh so hectic social life, where everyday someone else asks you out, and i'm sorry if i'm a freaking not-rich guy, who has to actually save up to buy the things that i want. Some people just have all the money, and all the friends. I'm just getting used to the damn life, where you can trust no one. And i'm sorry if i'm not as cool or as hip as all of you, and i know some things i'm kinda insignificant and lousy at, such as socializing, but not doing those things doesn't mean my life sucks. At least I have my morals, my church and volleyball mates. I'm not the spiky hair, flirt with all the girls and act gay with my bimbotic accent type of guy, and sometimes y'know, rugby isn't the only sport in PJ. So just stop boasting about it.

Call me a bitch, i don't care. I don't even know who to trust now, everyone's like gone. I never should have retained. J2s are a much nicer bunch of people. I just can't stand some senior J1s. This is what i'm feeling now and it sucks. TTM. I'm gonna drown my sorrows.... in sleep. Screw it all. BITCH.