Why do we love?

Today was shit. Ultimate terrible day. First, my CT made us (the front row) stay back to talk to us. I was quite upset cos we were questioned about the 2nd row and 3rd row's results. Apparently we are constantly too disruptive in class. I'd agree with that in term 2, but this term, we all toned down already, yet we're still being questioned. I'm starting to wonder if people are being prejudiced against us. Anyway we voiced our opinions already, wonder if it'll channel through. By the way, for those who don't know, we retainees and some others always sit in the front row, and SOME PEOPLE just make alot of noise (irritating but HILARIOUS), so we're classified as front row, the noisy bunch.

Then after that, headed for the 9th Student Council Investiture. Quite interesting I must say. A lil' touching, but otherwise, I was dying to go for training.

And it wasn't all a beautiful sight. The more I go for trainings, the more I've come to realise something. Maybe it isn't so much about your passion, about your love for the sport. But more for the people around you, doing the same things with you. As I start training with the J1s, I find myself in a different wavelength. I just can't seem to connect, or even bond with them. They're like living in their own world. And, there's a damn age gap already, is it their mentality, I'm senior J1? I feel so distanced from everyone. All their little cliques here and there, how to bond you tell me? I talk to them, no one wants to listen. All sit still. Zuokun say something, all start moving. Really, am I that incapable? Sometimes I feel damn helpless and useless. The feeling sucks, when you're alone, and like, everyone else has their cliques, and they can choose not to listen to you.

I've been thinking about stepping down from volleyball, and I'm still waivering on my decision. I mean, since my batch graduated already, I shouldn't stay too. And somemore I really don't feel for the team anymore. Maybe it's the people, I'm not sure. I just feel like I go training for the sake of it, different from last year. And I feel i'm failing as captain, and Uzuo can do a much better job. So why not? Things to ponder about during my long long breaks.

My dad's coming home tmr! Going airport with my mom to pick him up, and have dinner there. Can't eat popeyes! I'll convince them for Swensens.

Oh My God, the pianist upstairs should fix his damn clock. He plays the piano at unearthly hours. 11pm on weekdays, 8am on weekends. I swear if i move out i'll smash his piano first.